Blogs

  • warning: Parameter 1 to tac_lite_node_grants() expected to be a reference, value given in /home1/theszram/public_html/includes/module.inc on line 471.
  • warning: Parameter 1 to tac_lite_node_grants() expected to be a reference, value given in /home1/theszram/public_html/includes/module.inc on line 471.
  • warning: Parameter 1 to tac_lite_node_grants() expected to be a reference, value given in /home1/theszram/public_html/includes/module.inc on line 471.
  • warning: Parameter 1 to tac_lite_node_grants() expected to be a reference, value given in /home1/theszram/public_html/includes/module.inc on line 471.

Excerpts from Scotland

Scottish Adventure continued...
This sermon excerpt makes an amazing, honest, and challenging point:

"God calls us each to be mighty warriors and honored shield maidens, or warrior princesses, for him. Men don't be afraid to protect those you love from the onslaught of battle. Recognize the importance of the shield maidens in your life. God has given you the responsibility to protect and care for your mothers, wives, and sisters in Christ. Don't be afraid of strength, but relish strong partners in your life. Fight hard for the King. Women, stand strong for Christ, battling onward with the men as your partners. Allow them to be men, but fight hard in the battles facing you. Hold high your shields protecting the warriors fighting with you. Fight hard for the King. It is only together that the battle can be won."

AMEN!

What a Father's Day sermon!? Especially since it was delivered while carrying a Scottish broad sword (think William Wallace). Yeah, Bob is just that cool.

Random Question and Answer

You have a red jar of cedar chips. Why do moths miss the forest?

They don't.

The beaver fell all the cedar trees so that the moths could return. Then at a super duper top secret ceremony the remaining cedar chips were presented to the keeper of the forest for protection. Unfortunately, the guardian had a hole in his left hand pocket so that as he walked deeper into the forest, all the chips fell out of his pocket one by one. Then the unicorn, realizing what was happening, gathered up the trail of cedar chips and lovingly encased them in a crystal ball. It wasn't very long before the wicked wizard saw the incredible power of the cedar filled orb and determined to harness its power for the ruination for the moth kingdom and eventually the world. When Good King Wenceslas looked out on the Plain of Stevie and noticed undulating aquamarine smoke rising from the Wizard of ID's tower he wasn't concerned. But when he noticed the extreme cleanliness and lack of holes in the wicked wizard's cloak, he knew something wasn't right. So knights were sent and some died, but of course the really bad knights were sent first so no one really cared cause they knew an even better knight would come along one day. And one day turned into two and two into three and on three day a really cool moose and squirrel decided to rid the world of the communist threat. However, their Saturday morning neighbors, a community of little blue dudes with one elder, one lady, and one baby, refused to comment. Soon mass chaos erupted as the wicked wizard lost control of the crystal ball while dying at the hands a kind farmer who didn’t appreciate how the wizard treated orphans and puppies, kicking them and such. Thus the crystal ball became a plaything for the puppies the farmer had saved. But crystal balls don’t play fetch very well and before long it shattered into a million-gazillion pieces, each evaporating into the unicorn tears that produced the ball in the first place. One very upset little boy picked up all the cedar chips and put them in one of his mother’s glass jars.

Thus the cedar chips have been passed down for generations, safe from the hands of the wicked wizard and from litter boxes everywhere.

Syndicate content