WMS's blog

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The Quagmire before the Brouhaha

Today is "Root Canal Appreciation Day" and "Trust your Intuition Day."

Now, while I've never had a root canal, my intuition tells me that they are not something that I really want to appreciate, thus the conundrum.

It reminds me of various other problems we face everyday, for example, why do we drive on the parkway and park on the driveway? For all the Pinky and the Brain fans, if Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why does he do it? How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why is the uplifting part of romance called 'falling'? What are fiddlesticks? How high is a grasshoppers knee, especially since all my grandparents friends haven't seen me since I was that tall? (Did I ever get past that height, that's my next big fear?) What is my alphabet soup (or cereal) trying to tell me? How do you get your ducks in a row? "There is no egg in the eggplant No ham in the hamburger. And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England. French fries were not invented in France. We sometimes take English for granted But if we examine its paradoxes we find that Quicksand takes you down slowly, Boxing rings are square. And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. If writers write, how come fingers don't fing. If the plural of tooth is teeth. Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth, If the teacher taught, Why didn't the preacher praught. If a vegetarian eats vegetables. What the does a humanitarian eat? Why do people recite at a play, Yet play at a recital? Park on driveways and Drive on parkways. You have to marvel at the unique lunacy. Of a language where a house can burn up as it burns down. And in which you fill in a form by filling it out." Why is kidnapping a felony while catnapping is encouraged? What or who are whippersnappers and how do they stay young? Why is phonetically not spelled fonetically? That is why when the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible, and why it is that when you wind up my watch it starts, but when I wind up this observation, it ends.

So many questions, so little time...

*Quoted from anonymous email from a friend

Five Factor Personality Profile

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion:

You have medium extroversion.
You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party.
Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences.
But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time."

Conscientiousness:

You have high conscientiousness.
Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life.
Most things in your life are organized and planned well.
But you borderline on being a total perfectionist.

Agreeableness:

You have high agreeableness.
You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly.
Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone.
You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance.

Neuroticism:

You have low neuroticism.
You are very emotionally stable and mentally together.
Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly.
Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure.

Openness to experience:

Your openness to new experiences is high.
In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas.
You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits.
A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

If we learn it all in Kindergarten, I definitely need more practice...

So within the past 48 hours, I...

...watched Star Wars Episode I while assembling a Lego Dino-Attack vehicle complete with stun ray, laser gun, and T-Rex, and discovered that a five year old knew more about the technological aspects of the Stars Wars series than I did. Must have missed the "pod racers and syth lords killing all the dinosaurs" part in school though.

...lost a game of Monopoly to an eight year old. In all fairness, the game was almost over when I jumped in for the other opponent, but, it does make me wonder if there is something to that 'new' math.

...was informed that I said my bedtime prayers wrong and that Jesus would forgive me for this time, but I better do it right the next time.

Ah, I love kids!

Excerpts from Scotland

Scottish Adventure continued...
This sermon excerpt makes an amazing, honest, and challenging point:

"God calls us each to be mighty warriors and honored shield maidens, or warrior princesses, for him. Men don't be afraid to protect those you love from the onslaught of battle. Recognize the importance of the shield maidens in your life. God has given you the responsibility to protect and care for your mothers, wives, and sisters in Christ. Don't be afraid of strength, but relish strong partners in your life. Fight hard for the King. Women, stand strong for Christ, battling onward with the men as your partners. Allow them to be men, but fight hard in the battles facing you. Hold high your shields protecting the warriors fighting with you. Fight hard for the King. It is only together that the battle can be won."

AMEN!

What a Father's Day sermon!? Especially since it was delivered while carrying a Scottish broad sword (think William Wallace). Yeah, Bob is just that cool.

Random Question and Answer

You have a red jar of cedar chips. Why do moths miss the forest?

They don't.

The beaver fell all the cedar trees so that the moths could return. Then at a super duper top secret ceremony the remaining cedar chips were presented to the keeper of the forest for protection. Unfortunately, the guardian had a hole in his left hand pocket so that as he walked deeper into the forest, all the chips fell out of his pocket one by one. Then the unicorn, realizing what was happening, gathered up the trail of cedar chips and lovingly encased them in a crystal ball. It wasn't very long before the wicked wizard saw the incredible power of the cedar filled orb and determined to harness its power for the ruination for the moth kingdom and eventually the world. When Good King Wenceslas looked out on the Plain of Stevie and noticed undulating aquamarine smoke rising from the Wizard of ID's tower he wasn't concerned. But when he noticed the extreme cleanliness and lack of holes in the wicked wizard's cloak, he knew something wasn't right. So knights were sent and some died, but of course the really bad knights were sent first so no one really cared cause they knew an even better knight would come along one day. And one day turned into two and two into three and on three day a really cool moose and squirrel decided to rid the world of the communist threat. However, their Saturday morning neighbors, a community of little blue dudes with one elder, one lady, and one baby, refused to comment. Soon mass chaos erupted as the wicked wizard lost control of the crystal ball while dying at the hands a kind farmer who didn’t appreciate how the wizard treated orphans and puppies, kicking them and such. Thus the crystal ball became a plaything for the puppies the farmer had saved. But crystal balls don’t play fetch very well and before long it shattered into a million-gazillion pieces, each evaporating into the unicorn tears that produced the ball in the first place. One very upset little boy picked up all the cedar chips and put them in one of his mother’s glass jars.

Thus the cedar chips have been passed down for generations, safe from the hands of the wicked wizard and from litter boxes everywhere.

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